1% Better Everyday

“Getting better every day.”

“Better than you yesterday.” “1% better every day”

Even the motto of my relationship: “Getting better together.”

Self improvement has been a passion of mine for as long as I can remember and it’s become more and more trendy in recent years. From books like Atomic Habits to today’s “That Girl” videos, there’s a self improvement niche for everybody. I’ve always been interested in life hacks, optimization, and living a healthy life that fit this image of who I want to be. While some people scoff at the idea of Gwenyth Paltrow’s daily routine or diet, I’m digging deeper to find out what exactly she’s doing. When I see women strutting their stuff in a matching set on the Upper East Side after completing a pilates class on a Sunday morning, my eyes go big like a kid on Christmas morning. This is the type of life I want to be living. Vagina crystals and all.

In the past few months, the “that girl” aesthetic has gone rampant. Thousands of young women are making videos and content about how they are also striving to be “that girl.” This means early morning wake ups, green juices and smoothies, coordinated workout outfits, lots of pilates/yoga/HIIT studio classes, getting in your H20, meditation, hot girl walks, journaling, manifestation, a 10-step skincare routine, hair masks, meals that are almost too cute to eat… the list goes on and on.

At first, I loved this kind of content. I ate it allll up and felt a little like, “hey! I am that girl! This is me!” And then it does what all social media does to me - dump me into an endless spiral of comparison. Even though I do a lot of the “that girl” habits already, I felt like I needed to upgrade all the parts of my routine or be doing all the components on a daily basis. I already had a journal, but maybe I should have a cuter one. Should I upgrade all my skincare products to one with more aesthetically pleasing packaging? My healthy food recipes are definitely not photo worthy - maybe I should buy the plates and bowls to make my food look more presentable. Again, the list goes on and on.

While I think there’s nothing “wrong” with the “that girl” aesthetic, I feel like lately instead of inspiring me, it makes me feel anxious - like I’m not already doing enough. Which makes me think - should journaling be something I’m doing to fit some sort of image of a person I want to be or should I journal because it actually helps me. Am I going to this yoga class because I like yoga, or because I want to be “that girl?” (For the record, I hate yoga). Thankfully, everything that I’m doing in that health and wellness bucket happens to be because I genuinely enjoy it. I’ve loved learning how to weight train at the gym over the past year. I like the gross broccoli-smelling green powder that I have in my protein shakes. I love a good ol’ hot girl walk with Taylor Swift blasting in my ears. Sure, I could have more aesthetically pleasing home accessories, but this isn’t a priority for me right now and I’m OK with that. So maybe I am that girl!

When I do get overwhelmed at the idea of all the “health and wellness” things I want to do, I like to break things down into digestible pieces. In tech companies, there’s the concept of MVPs (minimum viable products) and I think this idea translates directly into areas of everyday life. The MVP explores “how can I build a product with baseline features to be usable by customers so they can provide the feedback necessary for future products?”

To translate this into everyday life, especially when it comes to a healthy lifestyle or habit stacking, I’m asking myself, how do I strip something down into its most basic form? For example:

When it comes to new habits I want to form:

• What is the simplest, easiest form of that habit? Maybe this is journaling for 15 minutes a day instead of 30-60 minutes. Maybe it’s reading 10 pages instead of a whole chapter, running 5km instead of 10km, etc.

When it comes to thoughts or ideas I want to develop further:

• What is the core of this idea so I can communicate it to others and get input/feedback?

When it comes to writing:

• Do I need these extra words in this sentence?

• This idea seems too big to write about - let’s start writing about just one part of it and see where it goes.

When it comes to difficult conversations:

• What do I think the root of this conflict is for both sides? How can I say what I want to say in a calm and collected (non-emotional) way?

When I’m overwhelmed by the number of habits I want to implement (all in the name of good health), sometimes I like to strip it down to the basics and not worry about aesthetics or beauty, but more about getting it done! On especially hectic days (ones where I probably didn’t wake up at 6am), I’ll set aside an hour and spend 10 minutes on everything I have on my list: 10 minutes of makeup, reading, meditation, journaling, answering emails, and stretching. This way, at least I get a bit of everything done and get to feel productive and accomplished without needing a full blown 3-hour morning routine to get the day going.

If there is anything in your life that you are having trouble starting or needs a boost of momentum, think through the lens of an MVP. It will make the first steps feel less daunting, it will take up less of your time and it will, without a doubt, create the momentum necessary to keep going and getting better! With time, the things that took you a long time to do eventually take less time. You might find that after doing something for a few months that you actually hate it and you’ll remove it from your schedule - “that girl” be damned.

This is how self improvement and healthy lifestyles should work in my opinion. It shouldn’t be a performance for others, but truly a journey to becoming your best self. I think it’s great if you’re like me and enjoy some of the aesthetics, but it becomes draining when you do these activities to keep up appearances.