Why NOT me?

When it comes to my friends, I am usually their biggest cheerleader and supporter. I’m a true “pusher” - always telling people that they CAN do it, that they are capable, worthy, smart enough, etc. I really believe in my friends and that everyone has something to offer. I want my friends to succeed in whatever it is that they’re passionate about.

On the flip side, I talk myself out of almost everything. Posting photos or videos of myself online - not pretty enough for that. Writing on Linkedin - nothing new to offer. Audition to be a Pilates instructor - not fit enough. I really have a hard time imagining myself breaking out of the bubble I’ve built for myself.

Last weekend, a friend and I talked about people who are making our annual salary in 1 month. She told me that she felt so frustrated that achieving a financial milestone like this seems “out of this world” for her - that she isn’t thinking big enough. This feeling isn’t jealousy or disbelief, it’s something like a disappointment in oneself for not “carpe-diem-ing” the shit out of an opportunity you know you could crush. It’s a “what does that person have that I don’t have” type of retrospection that usually has the daunting conclusion of “nothing.” That realization can either be inspiring, overwhelming, or scary. For me, it’s definitely overwhelming and scary.

I’ve discussed content creation with this friend before - how this is probably the key to true financial freedom for our generation (if we start now). Of course, posting online is frightening. What will people think of me? What if I post something “wrong”? What if my post flops? These questions are all running through my head and holding me back. When she mentioned the same doubts, I reassured her that she is smart, beautiful, and capable of making amazing content like the stuff we are consuming on a daily basis. But why can’t I take this advice myself? Why am I able to dish out these beliefs about everyone else but unable to apply these same beliefs and convictions to myself?

The whole world can love you, hoist you on its shoulders, wave wildly as you enter town, and “like” you countless times on Instagram. But one person raises an eyebrow in our general direction and we unravel. Just one person, unbelievably, has that power. We often get lost in the one person who doesn’t like us, or in the person who is disappointed in me, or in clinging to one’s reputation and what people think.

It's natural to have things about yourself that you don't like. But the key is allowing and accepting. It's not about "liking" because sometimes we don't like aspects of ourselves and that's okay. It's about allowing them to be there and saying "although you're not my favorite aspect, you have a space here". When we do that, when we allow space for a more authentic version of ourselves to exist. Where we're not trying to be more this or that, more like someone else, or striving to be anyone but who we already are. More knowing = More confidence.

In the end, what you think of yourself is a lot more important than what other people think of you.