Île de Porquerolles, France

Once upon a time there was someone who really needed a vacation (& a glass of rosé). It was me. The end.

I’m ruined for all future vacations after living my dream life on an island in the south of France that I can’t even pronounce. The Colas family (Fabs (Fabrice), Babs (Barbara) and Audrey (the original)) was nice enough to let me stay with them for a whole week on Porquerolles - a teeny-tiny French island between Marseilles and Nice. Like another other beautiful island, the population of Porquerolles swells in the summer - apparently this was an especially crowded summer for the island because of COVID travel restrictions to other vacation spots in Europe.

This vacation wasn't like any of the trips I've been on so far - I was actually relaxing to spend all day by the pool, at the house, out on a variety of boats, sleeping in, not getting anywhere close to my 10k steps a day goal (didn't even wear my Apple Watch), eating the best food without thinking about calories or working out, having good conversations with great people, and having an all-around ball. My screen time was less than 30 mins a day (mostly from taking so many pictures!) because the house didn't have wifi and I couldn't tell you the last time I was disconnected for so long.

EAT

There is a time and place to be skinny...that time and place is not 2020 in France. I ate the absolute best food during the week. Believe me when I say (and I don't even care about sounding like a snob here) nothing, and I mean nothing, compares to the bread and cheese from France. They must have special flour or something in the water that makes it taste extra delicious. Maybe the cows and goats are sung lullabies at night? I'm not sure but France, please keep doing whatever you're doing.

Fun fact: The price of bread has not been government imposed since 1978, but it's still very much monitored and controlled by consumer associations. The result is that the price of the traditional French loaf varies very little throughout France, around 0.90 Euros in bakeries, around 0.45 Euros in supermarkets.

This means CHEAP BREAD that's ALSO DELICIOUS. What can you get for $1 in the US? Not even Wonder Bread!!!

Each day for breakfast I had baguette with strawberry/raspberry jam (yum) and salted butter (YUM). Some days I also had a croissant (YUMM) or fresh figs from the island (YUMMM). Lunch and dinner varied based on where we were (boat, home, elsewhere..?). Here are a few examples:

• Lunch: pasta salad, cucumber/tomato salad, ratatouille

• Lunch: tuna rice tomato salad, fennel salad, carrot salad w cumin & pine nuts, quinoa salad, sardines, mirabelle plums, figs

• Dinner: ratatouille, mini potatoes w rosemary, steak w mustard, cheese course, strawberry and pineapple fruit salad for dessert

• Dinner: ratatouille, ceviche, cheese!!

• Dinner: veal w olives, rice pilaf, green beans

All of these meals were usually eaten with a piece of baguette to scoop everything up and rosé piscine or a nice red (no tannins)! We ate at La Trinquette (Port-Cros National Park, Ile de, 83400 Hyères, France) on Port Cros and I got a really good white fish dish!

One thing the French like to do is apéro. It's their version of tapas/pre-dinner snacks and was my favorite "meal" of the day. Every day when we would return from the boat, Audrey would jump in the pool to cool off and then we would make ourselves a nice little apéro plate. Usually it was little bruschetta chips topped with different tapenades or spreads. My favorite spread was terama which is cod roe, crème fraîche and lemon juice whipped together served on white bread. All of this was usually accompanied by rosé piscine or pastis (an anise-flavored apéritif that you mix with water). If your glass is running low, a simple "marée basse" (or low tide in French) gets you a refill.

"I will admit that when it was first explained to me that it was customary for men to serve and top up women’s wine at the dinner table, I too was indignant. Can I not handle my own drink? But then I realised that it was not the woman who was being judged for drinking…if as a woman you have to reach for the wine bottle yourself at the table it is categorically the man next to you who will be judged for not keeping a proper eye on your general enjoyment of the meal." MONICA DE LA VILLARDIÈRE

On my last night, Audrey and I made Meghan Markle's zucchini pasta for dinner and a fruit fold over tart for dessert. Audrey says that her family eats bread with every meal only when they're on vacation but not in real life. Every meal was made with fresh produce, whatever was in the fridge and was eaten around a table, with others, and no technology and it was GREAT.

Audrey's mom has the best Simple Chocolate Cake recipe:

We made this cake twice during the week - the first time it had full marks in taste and in presentation. The second time Audrey made it for Ines's birthday and it was a little lacking in the presentation department...nothing some good ol' powdered sugar couldn't fix.

SEE & DO

Porquerolles is a small island but that doesn't mean there isn't plenty to do. Before I arrived, Audrey described the daily schedule as: wake up, jump in the pool, breakfast, relax, boat, lunch on boat, nap on boat, swim around with the fish, return home, jump in the pool, apéro, shower, help with/eat dinner, go out, return home as quietly as possible and hopefully sneak a little snack, get some Zzz. And repeat. This schedule was a pretty accurate recollection of what we did all week. Variations included:

• Audrey invited everyone over for apéro at her house and it tuned into a pool and pizza party

• We did apéro plage (apéro at the beach) at Plage d'Argent and saw a gorgeous sunset before running home for dinner with the fam

• We went to dinner on Port Cros and stopped to watch for shooting stars on the way home

If you're not a boat person, there are plenty of beaches on the island (although I can't give many recommendations since we didn't go to any). I think Plage Notre Dame is a popular one to go to if crowded beaches during a pandemic are your thing.

Most tourists make the trek over to Fondation Carmignac (Piste de la Courtade Île de Porquerolles, 83400 Hyères, France). This house - turned - art - gallery used to belong to Audrey's family. It's charming to watch her walk through the different exhibits telling me where the dining room or her uncle's bedroom used to be. The exhibits change seasonally but the installations in the garden remain the same and are fun to trapeze through. On the walk back to the Colas house we picked figs, passed ancient olive trees, and winded our way through small village roads that Audrey knows like the back of her hand.

On my last day, Audrey took me to see Fort St. Agatha (once occupied by the Germans), the Moulin du Bonheur (Windmill of Happiness), and Gorges de Loup where kids go cliff diving and the water is the perfect turquoise blue.

At night we always ended up at one of two options: L'Escale (2 Rue de la Ferme, 83400 Ile de Porquerolles, France) or Côté Port (1 Rue de la Douane, 83400 Hyères, France). I loved that these bars were right next to each other because you could pop in to say hi at one bar but see your friends at the other bar and run over to join them. We mostly ended up at Côté Port with the whole gang - parents included! One of my favorite things about Europe is that kids go out with their parents and it's totally normal to have a few drinks (or spend the night) with adults. Also, huuuuge shout out to the bartender at Côté Port who only charged me €10 when I bought 10 shots. Yes...shots happened one night. It wasn't pretty.

It took me a few nights to come to terms with the fact that I was hanging out with some 18 year olds. French teenagers are indifferently sipping rosé in one hand and dangling a cigarette from the fingers of the other hand while American teenagers are busy chugging UV Blue in someone's basement. Americans don't start drinking casually until well into their sophomore year of college (19/20 years old?) so it took me by surprise that the "teenagers" I was with were already so...cool? Is this how 30 year olds feel when they hang out with me? Or is age less important as you age?

Audrey says no trip to Porquerolles is complete without a visit to Atelier de Sabine (31 Rue du Phare, 83400 Hyères, France). Sabine is an amazing painter. She illustrates postcards, big paintings of the island done on old maps, small books telling the myths of the islands, pottery, and lots of small knickknacks. She sells screen-painted t-shirts that I saw people all around the island wearing (Audrey's dad has a few). I ended up buying a few gifts and postcards from the shop and Jessica, who works in the shop, is the sweetest! She's even been to Boston a few times.

MISCELLANEOUS THOUGHTS

+ There's a French saying that "you can laugh about everything but not with everyone." They take this very seriously - it took me a while to really understand the French humor (I'm not sure if I quite understand it even now) but the French love to argue, get in passionate discussions that sound like arguing, or just talk about how much they love each other so fervently that it sounds angry if you don't speak the language. There were a few discussions that bordered on inappropriate until one glance at Audrey told me that the speaker was only pulling my leg. The French love their jokes and I take it as a sign of friendship if they feel that they can be sarcastic with you.

+ I met someone named Sixtine and like many Americans did a double take. Turns out it's a traditional French name and I am INTO IT.

+ Berlin Audrey and I often say that we have "hand hunger" when we feel like snacking but aren't actually hungry. Turns out the Japanese have a word for this: kuchisabishii, which means lonely mouth. I like that better.

+ The French take pétanque (a variation of bocce ball) very seriously. I got schooled by a woman who says that pétanque is "her life." She was somehow able to outsmart our every attempt to challenge her.

+ When you cut cheese, you are supposed to take a bit of the bad part (the rind part) and a little bit of the good part. The last piece should be the best piece in theory because everyone is leaving a bit of the best part for the next person. Cheese cutting is very important and I did my best the whole week to respect the French culture by cutting my cheese correctly during the cheese course. This includes minimally touching (or not touching at all) the cheese when transferring from the cheese plate to your plate. I definitely have some room to improve here. One of my favorite anecdotes from the week comes from Barbara. Her friend was married to a French man. When they divorced, she had a cheese cutting divorce party where she and her friends cut the cheese however they wanted to...like taking the tip of the brie all for yourself. The horror!

+ For those of you who are hopeless romantics like me, you must know the "Fab and Bab" backstory. Fabrice is as French as you can get and Barbara is an All-American girl from Idaho. They met when they were both in Boston and they made sure their paths crossed for the next few years. Fabrice was in the UK for a bit and then in Denmark for a while. Barbara got her first European job in the Netherlands and then got her MBA at INSEAD. They saw each other as often as possible on the weekends and kept tabs on one another even when they were seeing other people. Eventually they decided to live happily ever after in Paris. Obviously I'm exaggerating here, but I really do admire the amount of love and patience Audrey's parents put out into the world. I respect that Barbara moved overseas, learned French, got an MBA abroad, kicks ass in her career, and went through lots of ups and downs to live the life she has now. It's all very inspiring in a way that's different than anything I've seen done before. The fact that they welcomed an American into their home deserves a round of applause on its own!

Thank you, Audrey!!! xoxoxo